


Not Really Gay Thoughts

by shapinguptobeprettyood



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: F/M, Fluff, bi!Ben, pregnant!Leslie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 13:45:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3252020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shapinguptobeprettyood/pseuds/shapinguptobeprettyood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leslie has some questions about "who hasn't had gay thoughts?" post season six</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Really Gay Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> this was called "ben wyatt is bisexual pass it on" in my document folder.  
> and I immediately thought that this would be a plausible scenario when I watched Media Blitz, because this is basically my story of discovering just how gay I am. (the gay thoughts part, not the televised breakdown.)

Ben wasn't surprised when he woke to an empty bed. Even if it was Sunday, there was always something that had Leslie up before him, whether it was work she had to do, or as was more recently the case, the morning sickness was holding her hostage in the bathroom. But as he dragged himself up he didn't hear her in the bathroom, which he was grateful for. It sucked knowing that there was nothing to do about Leslie being sick, and he had instantly felt bad upon learning that she was probably going to have terrible morning sickness.

He could hear the faint sounds of the TV downstairs, though, so he headed down without bothering to pull a shirt on, running his hands through his hair in an attempt to wake himself up a little more.

Leslie was on the couch with a ginger ale (which had become a near permanent fixture in her hand) and he heard his own voice coming from the TV.

"Hey," he said, kissing the top of her head. "What are you watching?"

"I found that recording of _Ya Heard with Perd_ that you and Tom did for for the Harvest Festival. I'd forgotten how great it was. I'm going to miss doing stuff like this."

He gently situated himself between her and the arm rest, wrapping an arm around her waist to rest on her slightly rounded belly as she leaned against him. "I was a complete mess."

"You really were! I'm glad we kept this though, we can show it to the kids." She laid her hand over his.

"Well they do have highly publicized parents, so there are plenty of things to show them."

Leslie paused the video. "I do have a question. And it's kind of a weird topic, so you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Okay..."

"What did you mean by 'who hasn't had gay thoughts'?"

He froze up.

"See, I knew it was weird, don't worry about it."

"No, no, it's fine," he said slowly. "I'm just trying to think of how to phrase it... Well, I'm bisexual, I guess?"

That seemed to genuinely surprise her. "Really? Why haven't you told me before?"

He shrugged. "It was never really relevant. No one ever asks, so I don't tell them. I don't want to deal with the scrutiny from the public because obviously--" he gestured toward the image of him showing Perd the scar on his stomach-- "I don't deal with it well."

She turned and draped her legs across his lap. "Do you mind if we keep talking about it?"

Smiling, he answered, "Sure."

"When did you figure it out? _How_ did you figure it out?"

"It was later that day, actually." He noted that Leslie rose her eyebrows at that. "I just kept dwelling on the fact that I said that but I'd never thought about the possibility. I mean, I knew I liked women. I really liked women. In fact, I really liked you then. But I never felt myself actively turning away from attractive men or denying that they were good looking. And after watching myself say that stuff I looked up some stuff on the Internet. And honestly I mostly found people saying bisexuals are just saying it as a cry for attention, that we want to be special, or we're being greedy and eventually choose being gay or straight. We're not really accepted by the gay community unless we're in a same sex relationship, and the same goes for straight people. I didn't want to subject myself to the fallout, so you're the only person who knows." He gave a nonchalant shrug, still staring at a point on the far wall.

"I, um... Wow." Leslie murmured. "Are you sure you don't mind me asking questions about this? I don't want to make you feel bad or... invalidate your orientation, but I'm genuinely curious about it."

He looked away from the wall, meeting her gaze. "Babe, we're married. We're having triplets. We can't not talk about something because of the possibility of discomfort. Which isn't a factor right now. I'm totally cool with this."

"Have you ever been with a man?" The question came tumbling out in one quick breath, and she grimaced as soon as it left her mouth. "I'm sorry, you don't have--"

"It's fine. Really. But no, I haven't. I guess that comes with realizing your sexuality in your thirties when you're already halfway in love with someone amazing." He squeezed her thigh reassuringly. "Although I went through a period of time where I didn't know how to deal with Chris. And I now realize that it was confusing sexual attraction. I got over it once I started spending more time with him, but for about a month or so I was really awkward around him. That's all the farther it went." He thought for a moment. "I want to keep it to ourselves. I take comfort in knowing, but I don't want anyone else knowing. Which also includes Ann."

Leslie nodded. "That's totally reasonable. I promise it's just for us." She tipped her head back to kiss him quickly. "Wanna know something? I kissed a girl in college and thought I wanted to be a lesbian for a little while, but then I felt bad that I was trying to force it on myself, like it was a choice. And then after I met Ann I thought I might really have been in love with her. She's my platonic soulmate, though. We're both heterosexual. I've stopped being sad about it."

"I thought you two were together when we first met," Ben confessed.

"Today is full of revelations, and it's not even nine yet."

 


End file.
